I haven't written anything here since March, a lot has changed since March....maybe I should write something.
I just re-read all of my posts from January - March of this year and realized in my absence of nearly 6 months, a lot has changed. I've changed. All things that I said I was working on all those months ago have paid off and I feel like I'm in a much better place right now.
Are there still things that I need to keep working on? Sure. Do I still worry money and about where I am in my life right now compared to where I want to be? Yep, all the time. However, I've done a lot of work and I've changed things recently that have made a huge difference in terms of my happiness and satisfaction in general.
I've rid myself of most, if not all, of the one-sided relationships in my life that I spent way too much time worrying about and that I put way too much effort into maintaining despite getting nothing in return. In place of these people are the friends who have always been a positive force in my life, that are always there when I need them, and that have in one way or another...made me a better person. I'm spending as much time as I can with these people, and I'm working on meeting more people like this. We all need people in our lives that make us a better version of ourselves and I feel like most of us don't take the time to recognize who these people are.
I make sure to take time out of everyday just to relax - I've taken up yoga and it's done amazing things for my anxiety and stress. It's much easier for me to unwind now, and not spend every waking moment worrying about all the things that are out of my control. Whether it's because I'm taking this time out for myself now or not. I feel like I'm actually taking the time to enjoy things now. I spend a lot less time worrying about "what if this happens..." and just doing the things that I want to do and it's made the biggest difference. I'm so much more at ease with taking chances and just going for it.
I've made huge progress in the whole I'm-going-to-just-keep-everything-to-myself-and-hope-people-can-sense-how-i'm-feeling-or-what-I-need thing. I'm a lot more up front with feelings, mind you, still pretty reserved in this department but probably 100x better than I've ever been with this. I'm also working on accepting that the nice things people say about me are true. I've never been one to handle compliments well, I'm still not, but I've definitely made progress in the whole doubting my own worth thing and that's huge for me.
So basically, lots has changed since March. I'm in a better place, much happier, less brooding. That's probably why I haven't been writing as much. I'm enjoying things more, worrying less and thus have a lot less to talk about. I'll try and check in every once in awhile though, if for nothing else than to have these as something to look back on at the end of the year.
xx
